and this is my dog, Pepper.
He's kind of old, but such a love bug!
I’m so glad you’re here!
If you’re like me, you’re looking for some clarity and passion in your life. Or maybe you’re looking for permission to put yourself first after so many years of taking care of everyone else in your life. Maybe your kids are gone, or maybe you’ve been taking care of your aging parents or a sick family member. Perhaps you’re on the cusp of change and are looking for an intentional new direction. If any of these things brought you here, you’re in good company.
I see you, sister!
This is a place where you will find hope and encouragement on your journey.
(If you're looking for Alane's books,
you can find them here)
A Little About Me...
I got married to the love of my life and best friend when I was 26, and I can honestly tell you that he has helped me through so many trials. My late twenties and early thirties were spent dealing with near-death experiences (from ruptured tubal pregnancies and a ruptured appendix) and miscarriages (I lost seven babies). We also went through losing our firstborn to a heart defect, and finally adopting our son from Ukraine. It was a challenging season. (You can read about how God carried me through this in my memoir, Notes from the Margins: Healing Conversations with God available here.)
It took me until nearly my 40s to work through all that and find equilibrium.
And then my 50’s came along…
They say there are a number of things that can cause great stress if you experience any one of them in your life…chronic health issues, loss of family members, becoming an empty nester, retirement, buying or selling a home, moving to a new community, starting a new job, helping aging parents, or (as of late) experiencing a world-wide pandemic.
I don’t pretend that I am special because we have all experienced trials and hard things, but over the course of seven years I have been through each of those challenges and life changes-some more than once.
I’ve always had this way of coping with hard things. You see I used to love waterskiing, but I hate water splashing in my face. However, in order to waterski you have to endure a lot of splashing water as you’re being dragged behind the boat. To deal with this, I just close my eyes, hold my breath, and wait until I’m standing.
So that’s what I did. I closed my eyes, held my breath and waited.
By the time I looked up seven years had passed, but I was still holding my breath. I felt numb. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t even know who I was or what I wanted. I totally lost touch with myself.
I was burned out. I was tired. I had no direction.
I have spent most of my adult life “hanging in there”, “getting through it”, and waiting for a time that felt less hectic or more stable. My life was about being there for others (which isn’t wrong), but I ignored my own health, dreams, and desires (which still isn’t wrong for where I was).
But I woke up at the beginning of 2021 and thought,
“I’m tired of waiting! I want to live my life!”
I started a new daily journal I called “self reflections” where I spent 15 minutes each morning getting back in touch with my dreams, my thoughts, and my feelings. I started to discover that I didn’t really know what I wanted. And more than that, whenever I thought about what I wanted next, I just felt chaos in my mind and body.
That fall had an opportunity to get certified as a coach with Hope*Writers, and I was thrilled to start doing something that finally felt exciting for me. Being trained as a writing and life coach, learning how to coach myself, and connecting every other week with a peer coach Changed. My. Life!
My coach helped me understand why my brain and body felt chaotic and she helped me see each next small step I should take to embrace my life. My coach helped me talk through and identify the things that were most important to me at this stage of my life. She held me accountable for the changes I wanted to make.
I also learned how to self-identify unhealthy thoughts and habits and how to turn them around into something that was more beneficial.
I am finally living a life that feels intentional and authentic. I am doing what I need to do to stay healthy, and I am more in touch with what success means to me. Now, instead of drifting through life, I feel like I’m more in control of my decisions, my actions and my vitality.